January 22, 2011

Farmgirl Chucks The Mother Of All Tanties

Before we start this post there are a couple of things you need to know.  The first is that Farmgirl looks angelic.  She has almost white blonde hair, blue eyes and loves to wear pretty floral dresses.  Her angelic looks often lull even me into a false sense of cherubic security. How could any child who looks like that ever misbehave?  The second is that the vast majority of the time she is a well behaved little girl. Overall she is adorable and makes me laugh on a daily basis. However she was a hell of a toddler and even at three and a half she still occasionally behaves in such a way that I look at her and think...

"Who are you and why have you possessed my daughter?"

On our recent trip to Perth she came through with the tantrum goods in a big way.

Picture this - I was swanning through a delectable homewares store looking for the finishing touches for my uber stylish home. (Ok - so it was Spotlight and I was chasing a chairbag for Farmboy to take to school)  I had two gorgeous small children in tow and was looking pretty fab. (Well I had make up on and real sandals, not rubber thongs)  As we cruised up to the checkouts I hit a small glitch in my glamourous (largely imagined glamour) shopping trip.  Farmgirl was missing.  And then I heard her.  She had stopped a few aisles back and was half in and half under a display bed.  She was screaming, flailing her arms and kicking her feet.

"Oops", I thought, "Farmgirl is a little upset."

It was about here that all my aspirations of being an uber Mum fell down around my ears with a huge clanging crash.  Because Farmgirl is the Queen of Tantrums.  Big time.  And early signs were that this one was shaping up to be the tantrum of all tantrums.  And it was. And it went on and on, and then on some more. It was loud and Spotlight is very echoey, even with all that soft furnishing paraphernalia.  I tried everything. Prolonged ignoring.  Cuddles.  Whispered threats.  I even tried to reason with her. Hello? Like that was ever going to work.  Obviously I briefly forgot the "don't even think about reasoning with a tantrum throwing child" rule.... All this time Farmboy was quietly standing with a full trolley waiting to go through the checkout.

Farmgirl then upped the ante.  And took off.  Into the deepest darkest bowels of Spotlight. Way back with the feathery, beady bits and the glue guns.  I move Farmboy to the side of the queue and asked him to stay where he was.  Then I sprinted after Farmgirl.

By now every single mother in the whole shop was watching and every single mother had perfectly behaved children who were also watching. To me they all looked like they were thinking smug uber Mum type thoughts.  In reality they were probably thinking "oh, you poor woman..."  I completed my sprint and found Farmgirl at the back of the shop.  All the time I was reminding myself that I am the grown up.  I did this because it helped me not join her on the floor, kicking and screaming.  I picked her up and popped her under one arm (she is quite heavy, obviously sheer embarassment had given me super human powers).  Halfway back to the trolley she stopped crying, looked straight at me and said

"I love you Mummy"

I gave a humfing type noise and proceeded through the checkouts as rapidly as I possibly could.

In the safety of the car I then gave her a huge lecture about behaviour and so on. She was suitably repentent in her demeanour.  Farmboy still remained silent.

As we got out of the car at the next stop Farmgirl looked at me and said (I kid you not)

"There may have been some naughtiness from me at the last shop"

Farmboy was quicker than I and his response was.

"You got that right"

I then decided it was all too hard and we resorted to the peace that a McDonalds' Happy Meal and McDonalds' playground brings tormented mothers.

On a completely different note I am rewinding at Life In The Pink Fibro today.  If you get a chance pop over and look at all the entries.


G said...

I was just reading on Maxabella loves her top tips for handling The Tantrum. I know it's waiting for me in Spotlight too... Little One is practising her Tantrums at home and one day I know she will take her performance public. Well done to you and Farmboy for staying calm! gxo

Niki said...

My eldest was the best at throwing an In Store tantrum, he could bring an entire Spotlight to its knees.

Hey, My beloved old Pop had a farm in Yilgarn farming Wheat & Sheep, if I remmeber correctly.
Many a childhood memory was made at his place. He had old car's too like the ones in your photo.
I also grew up playing Netball against Salmon Gums, Grass Patch, Gibson & Scadden, I don't know if you know these places, but your photos remind me of my childhood.


Emma said...

My eldest has thrown some public humdingers as well. Well done for staying calm and I am super-impressed that you still made it through the check out!

Unknown said...

Don't you just love a tanny! They're enough to humble any mumma. Well done, you. xx

Blocks and Knocks said...

Arent toddlers the best! How can so much noise come out of something so small??

Annette Piper said...

Oh my word, the little minx. I like Farmboy's quick response :)

A Farmer's Wife said...

Georgie - I read Maxabella after I wrote this. She obviously gets the tantie picture well and truly.

Niki - I do know those places but they are a fair way from us. I have been to Gibson and Esperance. Esperance is stunning.

Emma - I only had one day in Perth and was determined to get through that check out!!

Thanks Kymmie.

Blocks and Knocks - I had kind of hoped she had outgrown the toddler stage...However...

Annette - Farmboy was a complete hero throughout.

Amanda said...

What a hilarious story (although not for you at the time I imagine. Grace is just entering the tantrum stage and there have been times I wished I could have sunk through the floor at the shops. Your daughter's "I love you comment" and your son's "you got that right" response cracked me up!! :)

Anonymous said...

Yes Spotlight brings out the absolute worst in my youngest as well. Not sure why that is. Maybe its his excitement at all the craft displayed at his eye level?

A Farmer's Wife said...

Amanda - Farmboy seems to be developing excellent deadpan timing which makes me laugh.

Sarah - Spotlight is off the list for a while... Thanks for your comment.